Visit your local clinic, get referred to the hospital for a surgical visit and appointment
Going to the hospital for even minor surgery is always time for anxiety. Even a routine procedure could cost well over $1000. But here in Croatia, I happily pay $15 per month for my health care because it not only gets me a primary care physician in my neighborhood to take care of simple things–but if I need the hospital for tests, minor or major surgery, she refers me to an MD there where the charge is a fraction of what it is in America.
A simple sty that would not go away became infected and the eyelid had to be cut, pus drained, and aftercare drops and creme to make sure all was ok,
So today was my first experience with actual surgery. Like a Little Leaguer looking forward to his first at-bat, I made sure I showed up on time at 8:50AM, paperwork ready, to win the game.
Here’s your gown, put these plastic booties over your shoes and wait, the hair net is coming!
After presenting my paperwork I was told to sit and about 15 minutes later, I was ushered into the dugout–er, pre-op room–to put on my uniform, booties and hat. Oh boy, I’m, next!
OK, so there’s no logo and I can’t keep it, but for the next 30 minutes it’s mine!
The doctor came out, and despite being gowned and masked, I could tell she was young…..and did she speak English? Of course! Having lived here for years not speaking the language is something I am not proud of. Another example of absolute laziness because pretty much everyone here does. No excuse. But it was still nice to chat her up about her education, how long she had been doing this, etc. and it was clear she loved what she was doing and was all business when it came time to operate.
She opened a door and the last words I remember hearing were–come lie down here, and put your head under the sun. Sun? Oh my God! it’s an operating room, with huge blinding lights and sharp instruments and uh oh, this isn’t like being in a game at all….it’s really going to hurt and I am completely unprepared. Can I use the toilet? Oh, are you sure this is the right day?
” Lie down, please, place your hands here and don’t talk…” and tof course the line every patient loves to hear “now this might hurt a little because we are going to give you an injection”
What? in my eye…are you crazy, is this legal? Help, I want my manager! This isn’t what they told me when I signed up………
So much for the happy smiling face. Press on this, she said, for 10 minutes
The injection was an exquisite bee sting–hey, YOU try not to blink with a needle in your eyelid. OK, they had antiseptic drops and some other gunk to kill the pain, but it didn’t stop me from wailing “whooowwwww!”
I think in Croatian the doctor and her assistant said “told you those American’s were real wusses….so how come they like Trump?'”
Like any small trauma, it always looks worse than it is…but I am really trying to get your sympathy
After a bit of poking to get the pus out, it was all over. And they even asked, “would you like to see it?” Wow, talk about complete service! But alas, it was just a tiny bit–and gee, my eye felt better already…..but when I looked in the mirror I was impressed!
Not quite a pirate, but cured
The whole shebang took 20 minutes. Then came the bill.
41 kunas, about $5.94
I had to run downstairs to the coffee shop to get change….when I returned, and paid, we shook hands, I told her I would send her this blog.
All in all, another amazing experience here…….an oh yes, the bill for drops and creme for a week was also 41 kunas. So now the big question, dear readers from America, how can Croatia do all this for its citizens and the red, white and blue continue to screw it up?
I wonder if my insurance here covers plastic surgery, those bags under my eyes could use a little pc, yes?